Eastender’s Monthly Update — November 2011

WHO KNOWS what ee-ville lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows (as does the doctor and the neglected son)…

Even though Fatboy has become a boarder in her home, Dot is feeling like an empty nester, what with Jim in the Care Home, and the miscellaneous Brannings scattered here and there, so she decides to go look up her half-sister Rose, whom she hasn’t seen in years. She finds her, still putting on airs, pretending to own the home she’s a cleaner in. She also finds that she has a previously unknown son by Charlie Cotton!

Elsewhere… The prodigal Ben Mitchell returns from Gran’s, just as quietly psychotic as when he left and not happy that Lola has taken his spot on the Mitchell couch… Janine and Phil continue to annoy each other at RandR, as Janine keeps buying up property around the Square…Tanya gets confirmation that she has cervical cancer but is keeping it a secret from everyone… and Darren has been skimming money from the car lot to pay for Jody’s fantasy wedding…

Zainab has become hooked on the pills that Dr Evil has given her… Christian and Syed want to get married but they can’t without Syed getting a divorce from Amira. Zainab doesn’t want Syed to contact her because she doesn’t want them getting divorced, but she makes the mistake of saying that to Dr Evil, who promptly finds Amira’s father and goes to ask after her. He reveals to Amira’s reluctant father that he only wants Syed to get his divorce so he can destroy the Masoods.

We’ve known that Michael Moon was a psycho long before his Dad Eddie showed up (after all, he dated Kat). But what we’ve learned is that he has held tight to a raging grudge against his Dad, who he blames for his Mother’s suicide when he was seven-years-old, and now that he’s got Eddie and his two half, half-wit brothers all in one place, he is going to destroy them all. Now that Max has kicked desperate Vanessa to the curb, he hires her to steal Eddie away from Carol Jackson. And unbeknownst to his dad, he’s got brother Tyler scheduled for a dangerous, unlicensed fight at the gym.

Across the Square… For some reason the lads are sitting around in the Vic and decide to go to a strip club. Then they change their minds and Ian goes on his own, but he doesn’t even get in before he sees a man and woman having a big argument as she’s trying to get away. He’s about to shrug and walk away but then he recognizes her, and she him, and she yells for his help. It’s Mandy Salter. Remember Mandy? The wayward daughter of Pat’s old friend (from her hooker days) who turned up in Albert Square years ago and rampaged through the Square, getting Rolly run over before she ruined the life of young Aiden, the promising footballer for Walford Town? Yeah, it’s that Mandy and the apple hasn’t fallen far from the pole dancer. They jump in Ian’s car and a chase ensues. She has nowhere to go Ian says she can spend the night at his place, and we know what that means: Once she’s got her feet under the table, he can’t get rid of her, and even though she’d got to be pushing 40 she’s just as immature and mischievious as she always was. Everyone: Watch your poodles!…

I first mentioned my new book, The E20 Chronicles, in my October column. It a collection of NEW, EXCLUSIVE interviews with many of your favorite EastEnders stars, not available anywhere else – the whole purpose of which is to raise funds for Children In Need. The book is now out and for sale and 100 percent of the profits from this book are going directly to Children In Need. To see a preview or to buy the book, click on this link to its page in the Blurb bookstore:

http://www.blurb.com/my/book/detail/2561006

I hope you’ll all buy it and enjoy it! If you’d like to keep up with all things EastEnders, just sign up for my FREE, weekly EastEnders e-newsletter. To get thyself on the mailing list, just email me here at the Launderette: E20Launderette@gmail.com

Signed, Your Faithful Reporter,
Deborah Gilbert, AKA E20Launderette