Eastender’s Monthly Update — July 2012

THIS MONTH, there’s a veritable jumble sale of doings in Albert Square…

Last month Bianca was carted off to jail for six months (curiously, the same amount of time that Patsy Palmer wanted for a holiday break), and now she’s been transferred to a prison in Suffolk. This means it would cost £200 for the family to go see her on visiting days so Carol has the bright idea to move the kids to near the prison for the balance of Bianca’s stay, because (she says), “what’s more important than a mother’s love?” Yes, it really was Carol who said that…

Derek had only just moved in with Carol and the kids and Whitney, who refused to go, is afraid to stay in the house alone with him, so she invites Anthony to move in… And Derek gets a surprise of his own: A mystery woman has been skulking around the Square watching Derek, who has reason to be nervous at that. When he confronts her and rails about her being the filth harassing him she screams that, no, she is his daughter, Alice and runs off. She’s the long lost daughter he never told anyone about. He then sets out to try to find her and make it up to her…

Elsewhere… Lauren Branning continues to lurch around the Square drunk. During one girls night up west, Lucy (who has suddenly become almost sensible) saves her from going off in a car with a bunch of blokes (who were clearly up to no good and saying that she was ”well up for it.”) This causes the two to have a big falling out with Lauren stumbling off and blacking out in an alley. Lucy finds her and takes her to hospital. The next day Lauren has no memory of anything, has no idea where she was or how she ended up at hospital and wanders off from there. Meanwhile Ian, Max and Tanya have no idea where the girls are and Lucy has no choice but to tell them Lauren is missing. When she turns up she’s furious and wants nothing more to do with Lucy…

In other Walford crime news… Jack has let his hair grow out …Kim has painted the outside of the B&B hot pink… Roxy and Alfie continue to sniff around each other, but now Big Mo is back, preventing Alfie from doing summink stupid – so he’s off to visit Kat… and then there’s Michael Moon: Having a tough time keeping up the front with Janine and all her wedding demands, he fleeces Jean out of her savings, getting her to invest in some dodgy scheme, claiming she’ll be able to get rich and help Kat & Alfie. But Jean has yet to discover the truth while Janine is preparing for a wedding and a baby girl…

And speaking of the truth… The repercussions of Ben killing Heather continue. Shirley moves into Hev’s old flat and somehow, magically puts all Hev’s old stuff, that had been tossed away, back. But Phil, who is tiring of Ben and all that he has cost him, (saying he wishes he’d never been born) convinces her to move back into his. Jay is showing the strain of keeping Ben’s secret as well. He moves out and stays with the Brannings, but then gets tossed from there and has nowhere else to go but back to the Mitchells. But before that happens, in a panic, thinking the police are about to get him, Ben confesses everything to Ian who, at first, doesn’t believe him. When he finally realizes the truth, he has no idea what to do with it – but knows he wants nothing to do with Ben. And it doesn’t help that Phil is threatening him to keep quiet. On top of that, Ian is teetering on the edge of bankruptcy yet again – this time, at first, it seems to be because he’s trying to buy gold digger Mandy’s love. But we gradually see that Ian is becoming completely unglued. He is in the midst of some kind of breakdown. He puts the house up for sale (can you imagine that house having no Fowler or Beale living in it?), and frantically plans a fantasy wedding for Mandy. But something’s got to give…

With many of the major actors in EastEnders taking extended breaks this year – including June Brown (Dot), Adam Woodyatt (Ian), Patsy Palmer (Bianca), Linsey Coulson (Carol), Shane Ritchie (Alfie) – it remains to be seen how the show is going to be affected. One bight spot in all this: Letitia Dean (Sharon) is just about to return. And to that we say, “ello Princess!”…

Any Downton Abbey fans out there? If you are counting the days until the Season three begins in January, you can keep up with all the latest news from Downton and beyond by reading by posts Dispatch From the Downton Abbey Diaspora on PBS THIRTEEN’s Inside Thireen blog here: www.thirteen.org/insidethirteen/2012/05/14/dispatch-from-the-downton-abbey-diaspora/

And if you’d like to keep up with all thing EastEnders, just email me here at the Launderette and I’ll sign you up for our FREE, weekly EastEnders e-newsletter called The E20 Chronicles: E20Launderette@gmail.com

Signed, Your Faithful Reporter
Deborah Gilbert AKA E20Launderette