Eastender’s Monthly Update — September 2012

AFTER ALL the shouting and confrontation at Janine’s wedding, from Kat and Jean trying to get her money back from Michael, Janine goes into early labor and gives birth to a preemie; a little girl she names Patricia. Then she renames her Scarlett. Michael, at first panics and tries to flee (taking all the cash out of the safe and leaving his new wife and daughter in the lurch), but in an ironic twist, is convinced to stay by Jean, who takes pity on him. Everything is touch and go with the baby and, seeming to think that their bad karma might have something to do with Scarlett’s suffering, Janine writes a check for double what Michael owes, to repay Jean the money he stole from her. Michael tears it up and has her write a new one for just what he owes. But at least Jean, Kat and Alfie get their money back…

Across the Square… Masood’s neer do well brother AJ drops by for a visit, setting Zainab’s teeth on edge… Ian is still missing and Lucy is showing the strain of holding everything together… Lola’s pregnancy hasn’t deterred her troubled ways, despite Social Services breathing down her neck, trying to get her to shape up so she can keep her baby. She seems to only get worse, and despite repeated incidents of being caught and carted off, crying, in the back of a police car, she never learns. And now Lucy is paying the price, blamed for an act of vandalism on the car lot because Lola stole chip fat from the Chippy (because Lucy had fired her) and poured it over Max’s cars, (because he fired Jay) and now Max and Phil are threatening to turn her in to the Social and have Bobby taken away if she doesn’t pay for the damage. But Jay knows the truth and hints it to Lucy who promptly grasses Lola up to the Old Bill… But Jay has bigger problems, he finally discovers that Ben has held onto the picture frame that he used as the weapon in Heather’s murder, as a sick trophy. He then turns Ben into Phil who blows his top and tells him (again) to get rid of it. But before they can go out, Shirley comes in so they dump it in one of the garbage bags Shirley is using while having a clearout. And before they can get back to it, all the bags get tossed and end up at the thrift shop, where we next see Cora polishing it up for display…

And then there’s Kat (who also never, ever learns): Either unsatisfied or bored with Alfie, she has embarked on a tacky back-alley affair with a mystery man. Who is this mystery man? We don’t know. Think back to the days of yore when they were about to reveal who was the father of Michelle’s baby, and there were numerous suspects, all caught giving knowing looks or just looking suspicious. We were kept guessing until Rolly stepped out of the car. This time, in the frame as the guy who’s about to tear another chunk out of Alfie’s heart are Michael, Derek, Max, Jack, Ray – just about every man in the Square. Who will step out of the car this time? We’ll have to wait and see.

The scenes this month, with Janine sitting in hospital with her newborn daughter, with Diane and Ricky there to help, had something missing: There was a very large Pat-shaped hole in the whole storyline. I’m sure everyone watching was like me, and could just hear what Pat would have been saying at any given point – bringing home to all of us, yet again, how BIG a mistake it was to kill off this iconic character. Sigh.

Any Downton Abbey fans out there? If you are counting the days til the Season three begins in January, you can keep up with all the latest news from Downton and beyond by reading by posts Dispatch from the Downton Abbey Diaspora on PBS THIRTEEN’s Inside Thirteen blog here: www.thirteen.org/insidethirteen Just scroll down until you get to my Dispatch column (which posts every other week).

And if you’d like to keep up with all things EastEnders, just email me here at the Launderette and I’ll sign you up for our FREE, weekly EastEnders e-newsletter called The E20 Chronicles: E20Launderette@gmail.com

Signed, Your Faithful Reporter
Deborah Gilbert AKA E20Launderette