MIAMI HEAT TO PLAY IN LONDON. Many Florida Brits love American basketball and some remember the popular exhibition matches the Harlem Globetrotters used to play in England. Miami won the 2006 NBA championships and I can walk to their home in the American Airlines Arena. I joined the cheering crowds when the championship team with Shaquille O’Neal paraded the cup through the streets of Miami afterwards. So it’s satisfying that they have announced two 2008 pre-season exhibition games in Paris (October 9) and London (October 12) at the stunning 02 Basketball Arena. In London they will also do community events and charity appearances around the Capital, to interact with British fans. So alert your London relatives, if they are basketball fans. Since 2000, the NBA family has helped establish more than 400 places where children and families can live, learn or play around the world, including 11 in Europe. “We believe that the NBA is not just an American sport anymore,” Miami HEAT President and Head Coach Pat Riley said. “It’s a global sport and we are proud and privileged to be a part of the NBA Europe Live. We will take our players and our philosophy to Europe and show that part of the world what we are all about.” INFO: www.heat.com.

• AMERICANS are besotted with everything british department. An email my office received from an American in Orlando: HIM: My mother and Queen Elizabeth II share the same birthday (year and day) and are the same age. Would it be possible to have them exchange birthday cards?
  ME: Dear Joel, this is a joke – right? Her Majesty shares her birthday with a zillion people. In fact, so many British subjects alone, that on her 80th birthday she had 500 of them to tea with her. Your mother is not even British! But if you’re serious, mail your request to the Queen at Buckingham Palace, Pall Mall, London SWI, England. The Queen’s official website is www.royal.gov.uk if you wish to email her too. Her staff read all emails.
  By the way, we British don’t call her Queen Elizabeth II, just the Queen. Since the first Queen Elizabeth died centuries ago, there’s hardly need for clarification!

• UPDATE FOR Florida Brits applying for citizenship: You know firsthand about the massive delays and backlog for pending applications. Some applicants are so outraged that they might not be sworn in time to vote in the November 2008 election, that they have filed lawsuits against the US Government. (Not wise when that same government can deny you citizenship, methinks. Keep under the radar until you have that citizenship certificate clutched in your Brit mitts). On April 24, USCIS boss Emilio Gonzalez told the Miami Herald: “ We will be caught up within 14 months. Miami petitions filed by June 2007 should be completed by September 2008.” Gonzalez said the unprecedented backlog was caused by filing fees increase. “That always generates a 10-15 percent surge in citizenship applications, which we can handle,” he explained. “But this time there was a 350 percent increase – an avalanche we could not anticipate.” Florida voters have to register by October 6 to vote for Hillary, Barack or John in the finals of Political Idol.

• AT LEAST 1,300 Brits were arrested in America last year, according to the UK Government’s Foreign Office study called “British Behaviour Abroad.” So you can bet many of those were in Florida, since it’s the leading state for British tourists. (I wonder what other horrors about us are revealed in that study??)

• BRITISH BEHAVIOUR, the definition: Being British is about driving a German car to an Irish pub to imbibe Belgian beer, then on the way home picking up an Indian curry or a Turkish kebab to eat on Swedish furniture while watching American shows on a Japanese TV. But above all, being British is being suspicious of anything foreign. – letter to The Telegraph (London), April 2008.

• E2 VISA REFORM affecting British emigrants who buy businesses here. Florida British businessowners Zoe and Steve Adams urge all UJ readers to get involved and sign their petition: The website, www.e2Reform.org, has been set up by them and other interested parties “to draw attention to reform for legal immigrants who have come here and invested in this country, employ US citizens, and pay taxes.” These Brits would like to be included, along with the illegal immigrants, when Immigration Reform comes along with the new Government. They wish you to sign their online petition, E2 Visa Holder or not, to draw attention to the matter. Further details from Zoe/Steve at (863) 709-9555 or email deependenterprisesinc@hotmail.com. Website: www.e2reform.org.

• EVERGREEN BRITBAND Duran Duran appear May 19 at Boca Raton’s Mizner Park Amphitheatre. INFO on promoter’s website www.fantasma.com

• ROYAL SOCIETY OF ST GEORGE in Ft Lauderdale has various events for British people in Broward County. For info send email to Mel Cohen manaco7@aol.com . Put Royal Society of St George in subject line.

• BRITISH COMEDIAN Eddie Izzard, an acquired taste, has a colossal following. He makes a rare appearance at two shows in Florida: Miami Beach at the Fillmore Theatre on June 13-14 and Tampa at the Tampa Theatre on June 17. Website www.livenation.com .

• THE BRITISH NETWORK-MIAMI, for anybody who wants to make British contacts, business and social. Join local British professionals for a useful and enjoyable evening – a roomful of Brits is never dull! Hosted by Florida Association of British Business (FABB). Tuesdays May 20, June 17 and July 29, from 6:30 to 10pm No charge and takes place at the Doubletree Grand Hotel in their Bleu Moon Resto-Bar, downtown Miami. For invitation send email to: miamibritish@yahoo.com.

• WEST PALM BEACH The Police (Sting, Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland) return May 17 with another brilliant British band Elvis Costello and the Imposters opening. Info: www.thepolice.com VENUE: Cruzan Amphitheatre in West Palm Beach. Tickets: www.ticketmaster.com or www.livenation.com.

• CRICKET FANS in South Florida. The MAQ T20 International Cricket Tournament, featuring teams from India, Pakistan, West Indies and World X1 takes place in Central Broward on May 23/24/25. Tickets/Info: www.cricketcouncilusa.com (954) 977-9728.

• UK-USA CULTURE CORNER: If I hear one more American broadcaster pronounce Glasgow as Glas-cow instead of Glas-go, I’ll hurl a brick. The city has been around for hundreds of years so how can even Americans be unaware of the correct pronunciation? I even saw a Golf Channel programme broadcast from Glasgow, where everybody interviewed correctly pronounced it Glas-go. Having just heard all that, back in the studio the American host still wrapped up with “That’s it from Glas-cow.” As if he hadn’t heard a word of his own segment from that city. While on the subject of We’re-Going-To-Deviate-From-Universally-Accepted-Pronunciation-Of-Place-Names-Just-Because-We’re-Americans, here’s my pet peeve: Iraq is pronounced Irr-ack, by the Iraqis themselves and every other nation that refers to them. So why do American military actually serving in Iraq say EYE-RAK? They also talk frequently to the British troops over there, further reinforcing the correct pronunciation. So how can even Americans mis-pronounce a country’s name when they are standing in it?

• PUBLIC SERVICE CORNER. Help The Urgent Crisis Of Disappearing Bees. The survival of bees across the USA, our adopted country, affects all the crops we eat. At least 25 percent of America’s honeybees have died in what biologists call Colony Collapse Disorder. American bees are just as lovely and desirable as British bees, of course. The believed culprit is a new widely-used pesticides which disorientate bees, preventing them from finding their way back to their hive, but other theories abound. Scientists at San Francisco State University are spearheading a solution and they seek everybody’s help to track where healthy bee populations still exist. It’s easy! Just plant sunflower seeds and report if any bees arrive. If you agree to do this, the university sends you a free sunflower seeds. Go to www.greatsunflower.org to sign up. Haagen-Dazs ice-cream has also launched a website, www.helpthehoneybees.com, to assist. Please ask your friends in all parts of the US with gardens to participate with the sunflower project. Humans cannot exist without the help of bees, so now it’s our turn to return the favour.

• RINGO STARR and his All-Starr Band return to Florida. I saw the Yellow Submarine composer’s show a few years ago in Ft Lauderdale. Being an ex-Beatle gets you the clout to persuade talented musicians and singers to join you on stage. They take Ringo’s calls. DATE: July 3 (my birthday as it happens, but not expecting a cake from Ringo). LOCATION: Hard Rock in Hollywood. INFO/TICKETS www.hardrocklivehollywoodfl.com (954) 327-7625.

• SUBMIT NEWS ITEMS FOR THIS COLUMN for publication. Must be about NEW British businesses, British events, British Clubs etc. It’s space permitting, so publication not guaranteed. Submit by email only to UJFloridapk@aol.com. Sign with sender’s name/city/daytime phone number.

• ATTENTION FLORIDA’S BRITISH-OWNED BUSINESSES, SHOPS and PUBS: If you wish to get bulk copies of the Union Jack (50 papers a month minimum), to offer your customers, phone our circulation department 1 (800)-262-7305. The paper is free, but a small delivery charge applies.