Coronation Street Monthly Update

BONFIRE GUY FAWKES are usually dressed in old rags, a pair of shoes with holes in them and dirty trousers that no-one wants anymore. But on Coronation Street, the bonfire Guy was dressed up in style. In a haunting replay of Richard Hillman driving the Platt clan into the canal back in 2003, David Platt sabotaged his sister’s wedding by driving his car into the canal as Sarah and Jason were exchanging “I do’s” at the altar. His evil plot to ruin his sister’s life then took a step up when he dressed the Guy Fawkes in Sarah’s wedding dress. The whole street stood and watched as it went up in flames on the bonfire. Oh, he’s evil that David, but such good fun to watch. The newlywed Mr and Mrs Grimshaw went on their honeymoon to the Lake District to get away from deranged David but were soon back on the cobbles when the heat from their marital passion failed to warm them both up.

There’s been more passion on the Street as teacher John Stape got to grips with his star pupil Rosie Webster. Mum Sally developed a crush on John too and he had to turn Sally down gently as he moved in to live with girlfriend Fiz. He doesn’t half get the women running after him, does John Stape, although how he does it is anyone’s guess. The geeky teacher has at least managed to get Rosie to give up her office job at Underworld and go back to school, for which Kev Webster is grateful. To show his thanks to John, Kev bought John a drink in the Rovers. “Fancy a pint, John?” he asked him, to which John replied “Bitter.” And that’s just what Kev will be when he finds out John has been giving lessons in love to his daughter Rosie after school.

There was even more passion for the oldies in the Rovers as Rita and Emily gossiped about Norris and Doreen’s fledging romance. Doreen set tongues wagging when she called Norris a poppet. Norris has been called many things in his time, but a poppet he most certainly isn’t. In fact, I can’t think of anyone more poppet-less than him, but Doreen has given him the glad eye which seems to have made Rita decidedly jealous.

Elsewhere, Jodie Morton left the cobbles to head for the bright lights and kebab shops of London. She told dad Jerry she’d had enough of being the family drudge, looking after her siblings and working all the hours in the takeaway stinking of chips. She hugged her family farewell and boarded the Weatherfield Wayfarer which would whisk her away to the big city, or at least as far as the terminus where she could then catch the train.

Another Street regular left for warmer climes this month when Hayley Cropper packed her bags and headed off to Africa to do charity work for a year. Roy has been left bereft and alone without his soulmate in the café, and feels like he’s lost one half of his life. He’s like Laurel without Hardy or Posh without Becks.

Over at Eileen’s house, the normally shrinking Violet lost her temper with Sean when he tricked his sexy sonographer boyfriend Marcus into revealing the sex of Violet’s baby. This was something she was very much against knowing but Sean being Sean decided he needed to know. Once he knew he only went and blabbed to everyone in the Rovers that he was having a son and of course when Violet found out what had happened she told Sean to back off.

“You’re a donor, not the dad,” she reminded him, somewhat firmly. Ooh, he’s a gossip that Sean.

In the Rovers, Liz McDonald celebrated her 50th birthday. She wasn’t best pleased when Vernon showed no sign of arranging a party for her and feckless Vern had to be paid off by Liz’s son Steve to take Liz out for lunch. While Liz and Vernon were out, Steve decorated the pub and got the regulars in so that when Liz returned, Steve could spring the surprise party his mum had been expecting all day. However, Vernon did surprise Liz with two tickets for a romantic birthday trip to Paris. “It was either there or Cleethorpes,” he told her and Liz breathed a sigh of relief that he’d picked the right place.

With Liz and Vernon away in France, Steve used the opportunity to move girlfriend Michelle into the empty pub. Then Michelle moved her son Ryan in and with Ryan came Ozzy the puppy, the newest addition to the Coronation Street cast who steals every scene that he’s in. If that dog doesn’t win Best Newcomer at next years’ British Soap Awards then I’ll eat my can of Winalot and howl at the moon.

Glenda Young

glenda.young@btinternet.com