Coronation Street Monthly Update

THIS MONTH we saw a rover return to the cobbles.

After being released from prison Jim McDonald returns to the Street, causing shockwaves that folk can feel as far away as Salford Quays. It’s the same old Jim, with the same old catchphrases and, with nothing better to do on a cold British night, I played a game of Jim Bingo that went down a treat. All I had to do was get a bingo card and away I went, crossing off a square every time Jim reeled off one of his famous phrases in his beautiful Belfast accent. After ‘catch yurself orn’ and ‘It’s good to be back, so it is, so it is,’ and double points each time he referred to prison as ‘the big hoose’ and called his ex-wife by her Sunday name of Elizabeth, then the card was all marked, and if there’d been a star prize, it would have been mine. Having Jim back is a breath of fresh Northern Ireland air – or ‘norn iron’ as Jim would have said.

But what’s he doing sniffing around the Street? He’s come back to see his family, but finds out from Steve that Liz is engaged to feckless Vern. Will Jim lose that famous temper? Will he start another fight? And how long can it be before he asks for his favourite breakfast, the Ulster fry? “Yer lookin’ luvly, Elizabeth,” he tells Liz when he bumps into his ex-missus on the Street. Four small words and none of them bad but all of them send Liz rushing into the pub in a panic, gasping for a fag to calm her nerves. It’s great to have Jim back, so it is, so it is.

Elsewhere, Fiz is certain that her boyfriend John is up to no good with one of the Webster women. Well she’s got that bit right, but it’s Rosie that John’s sleeping with and not her mum, Sally, as Fiz had presumed. Little does Fiz know that when she is in the Webster house talking to Kevin, John is upstairs in bed with Rosie. I think she was showing him her duvet.

Meanwhile, Jack and Vera shock everyone when they announce their decision to leave the Street and head for the bright lights of Blackpool. They want to retire to the seaside, and who can blame them after all these years? (It’s been announced in the press that actress Liz Dawn, who plays Vera, will be leaving the show after 33 years early in the new year). However, Jack’s hope of retiring to the sea is all knocked to pot when grandson Paul, son of evil Terry, tells him that he’d taken out a loan in Jack’s name against his house. So all of Jack and Vera’s equity in their home has now gone. Ooh, Vera won’t be pleased when she finds out. Instead of buying a bungalow by the sea, she might have to rent a beach hut.

In the Rovers, Doreen has a trio of proposals to consider, which isn’t bad for a retired exotic dancer with one dodgy eye. Just when she is going to accept the offer of marriage from Norris, Rita poisons Norris against Doreen saying that she wasn’t good enough for him. Norris makes his apology to Doreen, who is left somewhat surprised but decides to keep her pride and announce to all and sundry in the pub that she was going to stay single, a decision she’d made herself. Cowardly lion Norris hasn’t had the nerve to tell Doreen the truth yet.

And a lot went on in the hair salon this month. Yes, Audrey’s salon has had a lick of paint and some flowery wallpaper, all spruced up in time for its two moments of glory. First off there is a proposal of marriage with Liam on bended knee to hairdresser Maria. She’s pregnant with his baby but Liam’s secretly in love with his sister-in-law, Carla, who secretly loves him back. Maria knows none of this and so accepts Liam’s proposal.

And if that wasn’t enough action, there is a punch up later in the salon when David is outed as the secret text sender. In an effort to split up newlyweds Sarah and Jason, David steals Jason’s phone and sends saucy texts to café girl Becky. He then steals Becky’s phone and sends saucy texts back. If only he’d remembered to take the phones out of his pocket. Yes, the phones ring and all eyes turn to David and he is outed as the consensual text sender. And his latest plot to ruin his sister’s marriage comes to an end.

Glenda Young

glenda.young@btinternet.com