Coronation Street Monthly Update

IT WAS the end of an era for Vera on the Street as Veronica Duckworth slipped away and died this month in Corrie. Vera’s been a part of the Street for over 33 years and so her death has been mourned with a lot of press coverage here in the UK. Vera’s passing to the other side (and I don’t mean the BBC) took place after she and Jack planned to retire to a bungalow on the seaside in Blackpool. But when Jack went to the Rovers for a pint, leaving Vera home alone, he returned to find her dead in her favourite chair. Her heart had given out and she’d slipped away in her slippers. Bill Tarmey as Jack played an absolute blinder and as the realisation of Vera’s death sank in, Jack sang to his Vera: “If you were the only girl in the world, and I were the only boy,” his voice trailing off as the grief proved too much. And when Jack went outside to have a word with his pigeons, he cooed love words to the birds that he’d never said to Vera but wished that he had. Son Terry arrived for his mum’s funeral and told Rita that he was something big in mobile phones. What, like Tetris?

Elsewhere this month, Carla upped her game to woo her tall, dark, handsome, thick as a plank brother-in-law Liam and tempted him away to a trade fair in Birmingham. The minx had even booked them a double room. They had a few drinks in the bar, did a bit of flirting – Carla’s cleavage spoke for itself, in stereo – and Liam was transfixed. But before Carla could utter the immortal words “Take me now Liam, for even though I am your sister-in-law I am a wanton hussy and the best ess-ee-ex you’ll ever have this side of the Pennines,” in came eyeball Tone, the catalogue man and Carla’s new fella, to put a stop to their sexual shenanigans. Liam returned home to Maria and made wedding plans.

Meanwhile, the Connor clan reunited as Helen and Barry flew in from Ireland. Helen and Barry are the ma and pa to Michelle and Liam, flown in especially for the wedding of Liam to Maria. As the Connors and Maria enjoyed a drink in the Rovers, Ma Connor regaled them with a tale of how a half pint of Guinness daily did her no harm at all when she was pregnant. She reckoned that drinking the black stuff was the reason why her kids all turned out with glossy, black hair. Now, I know that can’t be true because if it was the Guinness, they’d have a load of white froth on top too.

Elsewhere, David got cosy with his new girlfriend Tina and they found out more about each other in Jerry’s kebab shop over chips and blue pop. Now then, I’m not sure which of the two is most odd. Is it David for confessing he was mad enough to drive his car into the canal? Or is it Tina for being impressed by this news? “I’ve never met anyone as bad as me before,” she said.

Over at the Webster’s, Kevin was released from prison for assaulting dull John. He might have gone in there Neanderthal Man, but he’s emerged as a New Man. If Sally’s not careful, he’ll be eating quiche next. Becky got lucky with Jason this month and the two of them ended up in bed at Eileen’s. Next morning, Eileen was shocked. Shocked, I tell you. There was Becky, bold as brass and twice as brazen, sitting at Eileen’s breakfast table, smoking a fag and wearing Eileen’s dressing gown. When Jason came to his senses (aka sobered up) he took a guilt trip to Italy to see his new wife Sarah. But back at the café, Becky was loved up and had fallen head over heels in love with Jason. She tarted herself up and bought a new top, the sort with no back, hardly any front and two tiny straps. “What do you think?” she asked Roy as she held the top up against her chest at work in Roy’s Rolls café. “Two poached eggs on toast,” said Roy, with his mind on bacon butties, not breasts.

And in a scene that went nowhere but left a million things unsaid, Sean served Norris at the bar in the Rovers. “What’ll it be, love?” Sean asked Mr Cole. “Did you just call me love?” asked Norris, all miffed and confused. It was a wonderful scene. Isn’t it about time that Norris came out of the closet?

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Glenda Young

glenda.young@btinternet.com