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Coronation Street Monthly Update
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THE STREET’S full of builders this month as the new apartments
rise up from the cobbles on Victoria Street and the locals aren’t
happy. There’s too much traffic and noise and Harry the bookie has
to sweep little Amy Barlow from a near miss from under the wheels
of a builder’s van. “We’re not used to all this traffic on the
Street,” moans Blanche in her a-double-vodka’ll-stop-me-moaning
voice. Mind you, not everyone’s upset with all the workmen on the
Street. Profits are up in Roy’s Rolls as the hard hatted, steel-toecapped
and hi-vis jacketed fellas pop in for bacon barms and cups of tea
with five sugars in them.
Over at the pizza place in the precinct, business is bad,
cashflow is tight and Leanne’s thinking of selling. She jokes to
boyfriend Dan about sending the place up in flames for the insurance
payout and he tells her she’s mad (she is). But Leanne’s got a mind
of her own and when it’s made up there’s no stopping her. “I’d torch
a dozen restaurants for you,” head chef Paul whimpers to Leanne
before setting fire to the frying pan and the pizza place is
scorched to the ground. Leanne and Paul give their prepared
statements to the cops but Amber’s truthful version of events could
land them both in it, with a bit of luck. Janice asks Leanne awkward
questions about the fire. She knows, does Janice, and Leanne knows
that she knows.
Elsewhere, Gail ends up in t’hospital after she is pushed down
the stairs by devil David, her son from the satanic side of the
Street. Gail’s in solitary confinement in her hospital bed, wearing
an old dressing gown and a face full of make-up with a blow-dry
hairdo resting on her pillow. It’s amazing what you can get on the
NHS these days. Gail’s bump on the head leaves her temporarily
confused but when she recovers, it all comes rushing back. And
that’s when David goes on his teenage rampage, smashing everyone’s
windows on the Street. By ‘eck, it were good telly. Teary David is
then locked up in the cells, but Gail can’t bring herself to testify
against her son. As David’s wrecking spree goes on, Rita is having
her hair done as the salon window is smashed. She walks out onto the
Street with the hair dye on her head, shocked and stunned that
everyone would now know she wasn’t a real red-head. I know! Isn’t
anything sacred? It may be some time before us long-term Corrie fans
will ever recover from Rita’s revelation.
Meanwhile, Kirk goes to visit Chesney who’s with a foster family,
and the woman of the household answers the door to Schmeichel and
Kirk. “I’ve come to see Chesney,” Kirk reports at the door. “Oh, you
must be...” she falters, wondering who on earth the gormless lump at
her front door with a dog the size of a small horse could be. “I’m
his Kirk,” says Kirk, proudly. “I’m his Schmeichel,” the dog doesn’t
say. It’s not long before Chesney’s back home with Kirk after Fiz
agrees to move in to look after the pair of the useless males.
Over at the Rovers, Michelle’s mardy when she finds out that Ryan
wants to get in touch with his real dad, Nick. But she’s cheered up
when her other son, Alex, pops in to see her, and the two of them
eat chips in front of the worst bit of painted backdrop the Street’s
ever had. All we needed was the microphone to appear in full view at
the top of the scene and it could’ve been an episode from 1973 all
over again. Also in the Rovers, Vernon’s got plans. Not content with
masterminding the revamp, he’s now planning a Smoker’s Secret, a
backyard hideaway for a quiet puff. “A gazebo construct?” Liz asks
Vernon in disbelief when he tells her his plans for the shelter. “In
a whitewashed yard of a pub? Up a backstreet ginnel?” Sometimes the
dialogue is sheer poetry. Vernon’s next plan is to jazz up the menu
at the Rovers. He wants smoked venison, jerk chicken and a lamb
shank on the menu and the hot-pot off it, he tells Liz and Steve. I
note, however, that he didn’t have the guts to run the idea by Queen
Betty of the Hot Pot herself, oh no. She’d have flattened him.
And in Roy’s café, Roy takes pity on Becky and asks her to move
into the flat with him while Hayley’s away. Becky asks Ken for some
help in getting along with Roy. Following Ken’s suggestion, a
Scrabble match is set for Becky and Roy and Roy waxes lyrical about
the points to be gained from XU. “Did you know 100 XUs equal a
Dong?” As I said earlier, sheer poetry.
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Glenda Young
glenda.young@btinternet.com |
