Coronation Street Monthly Update

DEMON DAVID PLATT turned up the heat in his evil campaign against his family this month. After agreeing to look after some ecstasy tablets for his mate Darryl from next door, David put the drugs inside little Bethany’s doll’s head. When Bethany started feeling ill and went into fits after finding and eating two of the tablets, she was rushed to the hospital where David denied knowing what was going on. And in one of the most creepy scenes ever filmed on the cobbles, David took Bethany’s doll’s head and shaved off its hair while his niece lay comatose in intensive care. Fortunately, Bethany survived but David’s relationship with the rest of the Platt clan has died a big death. Gail threw him out and grandma Audrey took him in, threatening to sort out David with some tough love and a clip round the ears every time he turns bad. Ouch, those ears are going to hurt a great deal.

After Hayley’s aunt Monica died last month, Hayley found out that she had fathered a son. Yes, you read that right. Before Hayley had her gender reassignment she was a he called Harold who had a son called Christian. Coming to terms with the news that she has a son is easier for Hayley than husband Roy who cracks up in Freshco and throws eggs everywhere. Who can blame him? I often feel the same when Sainsbury’s have run out of chocolate Hob Nobs. Hayley’s mate Becky is the only one who knows the anguish Hayley’s going through and does her bit to help out. So when Hayley tells Christian that she’s really his dad (still with me so far?) he flips at the news and hits Hayley. Becky, a friend to the end and incensed by Christian’s behaviour, goes round to his record shop and beats him up for hitting Hayley. What a girl. You wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of Becky.

Over at the pizza place in the precinct, Paul Duckworth continues to use granddad Jack’s identity to get a bank loan and he also steals cash from Jack’s money tin. It’s the one Jack keeps behind the sofa, so it was never that secure, but Jack’s incensed when he finds £200 missing. Poor Tyrone gets the blame and Jack and Vera turn against him while they praise up golden boy Paul. But with girlfriend Molly’s help, Tyrone’s going to do his best to expose Paul for the fraud that he is. Go Tyrone, go!

Cilla’s back from her holiday in Vegas and Frank asks her to move in with him in his big, posh house. Ooh, it’s very bay window, as Ena Sharples would have said. Frank gives Cilla a necklace that belonged to his late wife, but before Cilla can give him her answer about moving in, she finds Frank dead in his chair. She thinks he’s asleep and tells him to wake up before his sandwiches curl. But when she checks his pulse and it’s clear he’s gone, you just know that those sandwiches will definitely curl. At the reading of the will, Cilla’s left a fraction of Frank’s cash as it’s shared around women of a certain age in Weatherfield who have, let’s say, er, ‘known’ Frank before he popped his clogs. Cilla decides to sell the necklace he gave her and rakes in a whopping £45,000, so she sells up and heads back to Vegas to live, leaving her kids on the cobbles again.

Over at Underworld, it’s only been five months since Paul Connor died in the car crash and his body must still be warm in the grave. This doesn’t stop widow Carla snogging the face of her brother-in-law Liam in the factory after hours. Liam’s got the hots for the black widow but she pulls away from the kiss, composes herself and starts dating a dodgy sales rep from Scotland. Liam’s got more on his plate than Carla at the factory however, as Carla’s PA Rosie Webster starts coming on to him while they’re at work.  By ’eck, some folk lead a complicated life.

And finally this month, Sally Webster’s dreams of educating herself by learning Shakespeare at the tea table with English tutor John move on apace. Sally starts to get the hots for John which is a bit of a problem as she’s married to Kevin and John’s starting to feel quite warm towards Sally’s daughter, Rosie. John’s girlfriend, Fiz, isn’t best pleased by all this attention her boyfriend is getting and wants him to whisper sweet nothings in her ear. Who’d have thought Shakespeare could have caused so much lusty trouble? Ah, but the course of true love never did run smooth. Hmm … that sounds familiar, I wonder who said it first?

Glenda Young

glenda.young@btinternet.com