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Coronation Street Monthly Update
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Tony Gordon’s a
nasty piece of work. He wants to expand his undies empire and gets
heavy with those who stand in his way. He causes trouble for Kev
who loses garage business when Streetcars are offered a better
deal elsewhere. Kev finds out the elsewhere is in Tony’s pay and
he rails at Sally and Rosie about the injustice. Rosie shakes her
cleavage and Sally puts beans on for tea, supporting Team Kev all
the way. Tony also puts a squeeze on an OAP when Jed Stone (aka
Sunny Jim) returns to Coronation Street after 42 years. Cast your
mind back and you might remember Jed Stone as the son Minnie
Caldwell never had back in the 60s. He’s now an old man, living
alone in a terraced house and Tony Gordon wants him out so he can
continue his nasty, evil plans for world domination. Insert your
own evil laugh here.
John Stape returns and
tells Fiz he wants her back. He also wants her front, the side bits
and the bits that stick out. When Kev finds out that the man who had
a fling with his daughter when she was still his school pupil is
back on the cobbles, he plays to his strengths and brandishes a
spanner.
In the Rovers, homophobic
Blanche isn’t best pleased to hear that Ken’s friendly with Gail’s
gay dad, Ted. Ken’s friendship with Ted fires him up to reignite
flames of creative passion. He dusts off his novel manuscript with
the idea of becoming a famous writer and sets hard to work. Blanche
casts her beady eye over Ken’s novel and then casts aspersions. Who
is this dashing hero she’s reading all about, the one trapped by his
background and bad choice in wool cardis? She reads on, engrossed,
to discover the heroine sounds familiar too. Once upon a time she
was a pert bottomed goddess (weren’t we all?) and now she’s a
chain-smoking fag-breath fishwife who condemns our hero to a
marriage of misery. Blanche tells Deirdre she needs to read the
novel; it’s like a badly typed version of Deirdre’s own life. When
Deirdre reads it she’s upset, confused and pulls a sickie from work.
Work? She hasn’t been to Weatherfield Council for so long I’m
surprised she’s still on the payroll. Mind you, she’ll still be on
the coffee club rota. There’ll be a stern faced secretary with a
face like a wet Tuesday who’ll be keeping tabs on that rota, mark my
words. Deirdre and Ken battle it out at their dining room table; he
admits he’s disappointed with his life, with their house and yes,
with her too. Deirdre slaps him hard across the chops before
storming out. Alone, Ken thinks on and by the time Deirdre’s
returned, he’s cremated his creation and tells his missus he’s ready
to embrace mediocrity.
Molly’s Aunty Pam arrives
selling knock-off ham in the Rovers. She can get anything knock-off,
can Pam. And so it came to pass that Aunty Pam persuaded Tyrone to
propose to Molly with the help of a talking egg. Oh, yes. “There’s
not a girl alive who could say no to a talking egg,” muses Pam. And
do you know, I think she might be right. The gaudy, plastic eggs
have a recording button and Tyrone records his proposal to Molly.
But when he’s down on one knee in the Rovers and presses the button
on the egg, it’s Kirk’s voice that floats out after he’d scrambled
things up. “Where do you put the batteries, then?” the egg asks
Molly and it’s not a phrase most women want to hear on a proposal,
although some women might.
Dev took to the golf
course this month where he met businessman Prem Mandal. Prem’s big
in floor coverings and shag pile. The actor who plays Prem once
played Dev’s dad on Corrie but he didn’t seem to recognise him,
which is just as well as Dev will end up adding Prem’s wife, Nina,
to his very own shag pile. Nina was Dev’s dream when he was a lad
and he can’t believe his luck on meeting the Bollywood Beauty after
watching her movie 88 times. Yes, 88 times.
And finally this month,
Audrey and Bill with Roger and Janice set off on a booze cruise to
France. But it turns into a bruise cruise when Audrey crashes the
car while arguing with Bill. Mind you, she’d already taken the wrong
turn, distracted by her passengers doing Edith Piaf impersonations.
Audrey has to have her arm put in a sling and then she slings Bill
out. Corrie missed a trick here. Bill could have warned Audrey she’d
regret her actions and Audrey could have replied with an Edith Piaf
of her own: “Non, Bill Webster, je ne regrette rien.”
glenda.young@btinternet.com
http://coronationstreetupdates.blogspot.com
Glenda Young
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